


the person you'd take a bullet for (is the one behind the trigger)

by MadHare0512



Series: Author's Favorites [23]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author's Favorite, Bobby and Eddie are assholes, Buddie is hinted at not but not explicitly stated, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Gen, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Maddie's the best guys, Medical Inaccuracies, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Protective Siblings, Sorry for those who love them, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadHare0512/pseuds/MadHare0512
Summary: Buck was back a day when the people he considered family continued to ignore him unless on calls. Buck was back a week when he realized that no matter what he did, he couldn't get back their favor. Buck was back a month when he understood that these people were unwilling to forgive him as easily as he had them.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley
Series: Author's Favorites [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1529300
Comments: 11
Kudos: 178
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	the person you'd take a bullet for (is the one behind the trigger)

**Author's Note:**

> Written before I watched anything after s.3 e.5 "Rage", because not only was Bobby out of line, he was being an awful friend and the rest of them honestly weren't much better. Sure, maybe Buck messed up by filing for a lawsuit, but let's be honest here. Chimney's multiple life-threatening injuries and only coming back after a month both times, Bobby's relapse and going back to work like nothing had ever happened, and Eddie's taking no time off after his wife's violent death (without even a suggestion?) versus Buck working his ass off for five months to come back and excited to get back into the field only to have it ripped away from him? Then when he does go back for it, feeling replaced and learning that the person who he trusted recommended he didn't come back? Are you kidding? Look, I love Bobby as much as the next person, but that is bullshit and he should know it.
> 
> This was the result. Apologies in advance for those of you who felt Bobby and the others were justified. OOC moments.
> 
> Enjoy!

the person you'd take a bullet for (is the one behind the trigger)

By: AndiKaneUnderwood

**AU: Canon Divergence**

_"It's particularly hard to take being stabbed in the back close to home. There's always a feeling of betrayal when people of your group oppose you."  
_ _~Catharine MacKinnon_

_Buck was back a day when the people he considered family continued to ignore him unless on calls._

He was used to being treated like the rookie, but this was going a little- _a lot_ \- too far he thought. He loved this place, loved this job, but he often felt unwanted. He supposed that was what he was, he'd betrayed the team in a desperate bid for his job back. What was worse, Bobby hadn't given him his job back because he'd seen the light, Bobby had given him his job back because Buck was annoying him. _My house, my rules_. The words echoed in his ears. Bobby had taken pity on him and that stung more than any treatment the team saw fit to use. Bobby, one of the few who'd been there for him through every surgery, through the rehab, through the physical therapy, didn't think he deserved his job back. What was worse, the others were following in his lead. They were still so upset. Scathing words, biting remarks, sarcastic praise, all of it only served to make Buck feel more and more like pond scum.

Buck spent as little time as he could with them, taking to reading instead of playing video games with the team, volunteering for singular lists on the grocery trips, sleeping in the furthest bunk from them (Jon was all too happy to switch, he'd wanted to be closer to Dany anyway), and straight-up avoiding them when he could. Buck understood that they were upset with him, he understood that they needed time to forgive him, and he was willing to wait, but he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

_Buck was back a week when he realized that no matter what he did, he couldn't get back their favor._

Buck couldn't earn back the playful nudges from Chimney when they were talking about something he'd done a while back that was very stupid. Buck couldn't earn back the motherly looks from Hen when he was down and needed some advice. Buck couldn't earn back the pats on the shoulder from Bobby after a call gone wrong and Buck felt like Atlas holding up the sky. Buck couldn't earn back the shared, secret smiles from Eddie that had only ever been for him.

Buck wanted so badly to be able to make all of this go away, to have never done this in the first place, but what was he supposed to do after learning that _Bobby_ was the reason he couldn't come back? Chimney had gotten to come back after a _month_ , a godforsaken _month_ after getting rebar through his fucking head, after getting stabbed multiple times. Eddie didn't take any time off after his wife died, had come back to work all smiles and rainbows after the funeral like his wife was just gone, not six feet under. Bobby had gotten sober and come back to work the next _day_ as if nothing had happened. Why was it _Buck_ that had to take the fall for his leg getting crushed? Buck didn't _ask_ for his leg to be caught under the truck, he didn't ask to get those blood clots. Buck didn't want to be held hostage by some kid who was pissed at Bobby for putting his father in jail. Buck wasn't even a _firefighter_ at the time, why was it him who'd gotten the worst of this?

_Buck was back a month when he understood that these people were unwilling to forgive him as easily as he had them._

Buck was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of laughter from his teammates. He looked up at them from the furthest table he could get away from the people he loved like family when his biological one was so broken. Buck blinked back the tears and focussed on the book in his hands. He wanted to get through this chapter, preferably before another emergency.

Just then, the alarms rang and Buck sighed, marking his page and standing, leaving his book where it was on the table and hoping it wouldn't be moved when he came back. He didn't want to have to spend an hour chasing it down.

_911~911~911_

When Buck was younger, his parents had taken him and his sister on a trip to New York a few weeks before their mother died and their father turned to drink to drown out the memories. Buck had met a friend there by the name of Tyler. Tyler's father was a firefighter and Tyler would one day follow in his footsteps. Buck had admired that Tyler was following his father's heroic job, but never truly appreciated it until he and Tyler where trapped in the mall that had fallen because of a weak structure. Tyler's father had come to help them get out and Buck had never been happier to see someone in his life. It was then that Buck knew he wanted to be a firefighter too.

Sadly, it cost money to go through the Academy and the dream had to wait for a bit while Buck saved said money.

(He kept in touch with Tyler, who now went by TK and was helping his Dad rebuild Firehouse 126 in Texas. Buck was ridiculously proud and promised to visit when he could.)

Buck made it and was so damn excited about it. Then he'd lost it. Then he'd gained it back again. Buck was determined not to let his second chance go to waste. So he'd worked harder, done better, been faster, doing his best to make sure that he was the best Buck he could be. At first, Abby had helped with that. Then she left and Buck was doing it on his own. Buck tried his hardest to show how much he appreciated the second chance, how much he appreciated being allowed to stay.

_Buck was 26 years old when he saw a man he could've saved refuse his help and fall to his death instead._

Buck had lost more people since then, some he could've helped, others he couldn't have, but he was always able to do something. This time he couldn't. It was a car wreck, a truck t-boning a small Camero, and then tail spinning into a parking garage and hitting one of the support beams. Due to the building being old and scheduled for demolition, half of the structure had collapsed before the 118 had been able to get people out. Buck had been inside looking for more injured people when part of the building had come down again.

He'd just reached a young girl who couldn't have been more than 10 years old. He'd promised her that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. He'd shielded her when the building had come down again, getting cracked ribs for his troubles. The little girl had ended up with a sharp piece of metal piping shoved almost an inch into her shoulder. With the rumbling and pressure, suddenly all Buck could think of was the tsunami and wandering dirty streets in search of Christopher Diaz, begging anyone he could find for information the didn't have.

"Don't worry, I have you," he whispered as he tied some old shirt around the pipe and the wound, leaning over her again when the building rumbled again and debris rained down on them.

The last thing he remembered before something hit his head and rendered him unconscious was the little girl's smile as she whispered, "I know."

When Buck woke up again, he was in the hospital and Maddie was holding his hand, tears streaming down her pretty face. She gasped and suddenly Athena was there too. "Buck!" she cried, "Oh, I was so worried. You stopped breathing for a bit in the ambulance, they said you had a bruised lung."

Buck looked at Maddie and Athena, smiled, then murmured, "The little girl?"

Athena shook her head, "I'm so sorry, Buck. She died on the way to the hospital, lost too much blood. The paramedics told me she kept talking about the angel who'd saved her. They said she hoped he made it out okay."

Buck sighed, tears slipping down his cheeks, "How are the others? Did they get out okay?" He looked at Maddie.

Her eyes hardened as she glanced back at Athena, then turned back to him and smiled, "They're alright. You just focus on getting better."

Buck's eyes felt heavy, started closing of their own volition, and he nodded, "Okay."

Maddie kissed his forehead, murmured, "I love you, Bucky." Buck was asleep before he could return the sentiment, but he hoped she knew anyway that he loved her just as much.

_911~911~911_

_Maddie was livid when she found out how Buck had been treated by the 118 recently._

She was positively rage-filled when she found out about Bobby withholding Buck's reinstatement. So he took dangerous pills, that didn't mean he couldn't work; Chimney was still on strong antibiotics _and_ pain medication when he came back both after the rebar and the stabbing. Bobby had let Chimney back into the field on pain medication that made him feel tired, but wouldn't let Buck back into the field because of his blood thinners?

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

The second she'd found out about this, she'd immediately called Athena. Athena hadn't been pleased about it either and they both agreed to confront the team that night, but as predicted, none of the 118 showed at the hospital. Maddie was about to give up, but then in came Henrietta Wilson. She was in her civvies and looking apologetic, but she showed and Maddie let go of the anger at her a little bit.

She spotted Maddie and came over, "Is Buck okay?"

Maddie nodded, "He'll be alright. Back to work within the week."

Hen nodded, "Good. I'd hoped to be able to see him tonight? I have a few things to talk to him about."

Maddie raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"I..." Hen sighed, eyes sad behind her glasses, "I haven't been the best friend or teammate to Buck recently. Tonight, I realized how much I'd messed up. It put things into perspective for me and made me realize that I needed to apologize and be a better teammate. And friend if he'll have that."

Maddie let go of her anger completely and offered the older woman a smile, "Well, I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that. He's resting right now, but you can come by tomorrow and talk to him if you want."

Hen nodded, "Would it be okay to see him tonight? Just a quick look, I won't disturb him."

Maddie was happy that Hen understood the severity of this situation enough that she knew couldn't just walk into Buck's room as she'd done in the past, "Of course. I'll take you." She led Hen up to Buck's room, where Athena had taken up watching him for a bit, neither her or Maddie wanting to leave him alone.

Athena looked up when Maddie and Hen walked in. She cut her glance from Hen to Maddie, then back again. Maddie nodded and Athena's shoulder relaxed a touch as she took in the look on her old friend's face. Hen looked utterly heartbroken as she watched Buck sleep in the bed he shouldn't have been in. Her eyes welled up, but she blinked the tears away. She looked at Maddie and smiled, nodding her head in thanks, "I'll be back tomorrow."

Athena walked her out, needing to go home anyway, leaving Maddie alone with her sleeping brother and her swirling thoughts. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she looked at the caller id to see Chimney's picture. She pursed her lips, wondering if Chimney was calling to check on Buck. She decided to take the risk, stepping out into the hallway to take the call. "Hello?"

"Hey, where are you? I thought we had dinner plans," Chimney's voice was chipper and happy.

Maddie hated it instantly, "We did, right up until I heard my brother was in the hospital."

Chimney's voice fell, "Oh. Right. Do you want me to come and stay with you?"

"No," Maddie bit out. Chimney hadn't wanted to come before, she didn't want him here now. "I have to get back."

Chimney was silent, "Okay. I'll see you later then. Love you."

"Bye," Maddie replied, hanging up the call. She put a hand over her mouth, lips trembling as she thought about the man she loved hurting one of the most important people in her life. Buck had looked so damn defeated when she'd come over for dinner nearly three weeks after he'd been reinstated and now that she finally knew why she wasn't going to let this go so easily.

When she stepped back into the room Buck was moaning softly, calling for Christopher in a quiet, desperate voice. Maddie had only heard it once when Buck had called her pleading for help to find his best-friend-slash-maybe-more's kid. Christopher meant a lot to Buck, just like Buck meant a lot to Christopher, and it had hurt Buck a lot to know that he'd lost him. No matter how short a period and how unintentional it was.

She hadn't been there for the reunion moment between Christopher and Buck, she wasn't even sure they'd had one. She'd come in when Buck was shaking with adrenaline and the others were keeping him from standing so he wouldn't fall over. She'd immediately run over, taking her shaking brother into her arms and swamping him in the biggest hug she could muster.

He'd cried when he'd hugged her back.

She would never tell anyone, but for a long time, she wasn't sure Buck would ever stop crying. She'd stayed with him in his house for a while after that, happily taking the offer when he held it out. Maddie couldn't be without him that night any more than he could be without her. She'd stayed with him through nightmares and cold sweats when the terrors got too much. She even let him use her phone to call Eddie so he could check on Christopher.

That all stopped when the lawsuit was filed. She kicked herself for not realizing it sooner. She was a 911 operator, she was trained to pick up on _everything_ using only one sense. It had hurt that she hadn't realized her brother was hurting.

"Christopher! Has anyone seen Christopher?" Buck asked softly, voice desperate and scared, "This tall, yellow shirt, glasses. Please, he's just a little boy, I have to find him."

Maddie sighed, tears filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. The tsunami and Christopher were why he'd kept fighting, why he'd taken the light work, and did everything he could to get back to active fieldwork. They had helped him to realize that no matter what happened, he couldn't stop fighting for his chance to get back to his team. The chance had been brutally ripped away from him and now that he had it back, he was getting hurt by the people he loved like his family. She would be damned if she let this continue.

She reached over a gently shook Buck's shoulder, "Bucky, wake up. It's just a dream, kiddo."

Buck's eyes snapped open with a surprised gasp, "What happened?"

Maddie sniffled, wiping her eyes. Buck had done nothing wrong as far as she was concerned, the lawsuit was justified and Maddie was so mad at the members of the 118 firehouses. As she comforted a still trembling Buck, she made up her mind. If she couldn't get the 118 house to come to her, then she'd go to them.

_Fuck all of them for what they'd put her brother through. God help them if they got in her way._

_911~911~911_

_Athena was understandably pissed when she'd found out how her Buck was being treated._

The lawsuit was a bit much, but it was justified when she looked at all the evidence put in front of her by Maddie, then again by an apologetic Hen. Bobby had royally pissed her off by the time she made it home that night. She'd never put him in the doghouse before, but _by God_ did she do it that night. She got the call from Maddie the next morning. Maddie wanted to go to the firehouse and confront the members of the 118. Athena offered to drive her.

God better help those kids, because heaven knew Athena wasn't going to. They'd hurt her Buck and that was not something she would let go easily.

She'd gotten up early the next morning and gotten dressed for work quietly, making sure she had plenty of time before her shift to get this done. Luckily, she and Maddie had similar shifts; otherwise, it never would've worked. They stormed into the firehouse like twin lightning bolts, both utterly pissed and disgusted with the people who thought it right to mistreat someone for a mistake they hadn't made.

The 118 (minus Hen, who'd opted to come in later so she could see Buck that morning) had early shifts today, so it worked out well with Maddie's plans. Chimney saw her first. "Maddie!" he smiled.

_Athena wouldn't act on it, but the impulse to hit him was strong enough that it took significant willpower to ignore. Buck wouldn't want her to hurt them._

Maddie wasn't in a joking mood, unhappy with her boyfriend for how he'd treated her brother and pissed with the rest for how they'd hurt him. When she'd asked him, Buck had told her that while Chimney and Hen hadn't directly participated in hurting him so much, they hadn't stopped the others either. So, she was less angry with Chimney and no longer angry at all with Hen, but she was still completely pissed with Bobby and Eddie, _especially_ Eddie.

Eddie, who was both best friend and safety net to her little brother, who Buck had called cute when Maddie was first introduced, who trusted Buck with the most important thing in the world to him. Buck had come home for _months_ gushing about Eddie, about how amazing he was as a father, how patient and kind he was as a friend, how helpful he was with a problem Buck needed help with. Buck was cut by his best friend's action the most, though he didn't know it. The worst of it was, Buck had told her he'd explained things to him after he'd gone to Bobby that night. Buck had told Eddie all of the things he'd been feeling since he'd vomited up blood on Bobby and Athena's deck, how hurt he'd been that Lena Bosko was filling his role and how it felt like his place was being filled. Like he was being replaced by Lena instead of them waiting for him. He'd felt like they'd moved on without him and he was so sorry, but he needed his job back, and this was the only way to get it.

Maddie was so mad at Eddie because he knew how hard that Buck had worked to come back, how hard it had been for him to have to wait. Eddie knew how much being a firefighter meant to Buck, how much it hurt him that Buck couldn't do the job he loved at that time, and he still trusted Bobby's decision _despite_ knowing what had happened with Chimney and with him.

Athena was pissed because Buck wasn't just a friend, he was family and you don't put out family. Buck was just as much a surrogate son to her as he was to Bobby, but she wasn't going to stand in his way. If he wanted to be a firefighter, then she wanted that for him, wanted him to be doing what he loved. Yes, she wanted to shake him until he was dizzy and couldn't see straight for scaring her when he threw up all that blood on her deck; yes, she wanted him to stay out of the field because God only knew if he'd bleed out because of those blood thinners, but she wasn't going to stand in his way.

Chimney came over, "Is Buck okay? I'm so sorry I didn't come to see him last night. I did a lot of thinking, I seriously need to talk to him."

Maddie felt the bundle of anger in her chest loosen a little bit as she nodded, "He'll be okay, back to work in a week. Hen's up there with him now. You getting up there too would mean a lot to Buck."

Chimney nodded, "I'll go see him soon."

Maddie nodded, then asked, "Are Bobby and Eddie here?"

Chimney nodded, "Bobby just started breakfast."

Maddie nodded, "Good. Athena?"

"Lead the way, girl. I've got your back." Athena's boots hit the ground hard, her shoes thudding against the stairs as she climbed them after Maddie's clicking boots. They headed up silently, anger spiraling from them in hot waves that promised retribution for the wrongs the intended victims had done. They say 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' but frankly, Hell had never met Athena Grant and Maddie Kendall.

_911~911~911_

Buck didn't think he'd ever been as shocked as he had when he'd woken up in the hospital and Hen was there instead of Maddie and Athena. Hen apologized to him, they had a long talk about the lawsuit, and about how hurt both of them had been by it. Buck explained how much it had hurt to feel left behind by them and Hen explained how much it had stung to have her past brought back up and thrown into her face. She apologized to Buck for letting the Captain treat him like she had and he apologized to her for how he'd handled himself.

Once they'd aired out their grievances and both parties had been forgiven, Buck smiled and asked for Hen to hug him. She agreed with a tearful laugh. When she was done, she told him she had to go back to the station. Buck fell back asleep for a while, he'd hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in nearly six months. When he did sleep, it was a complete crash for a few hours then right back at it tiring himself out by working himself into exhaustion.

When he woke up again, Athena was in the room. She smiled, "Hey, Buck. Your sister's in the cafe, she'll be back up here soon."

Buck nodded, "Okay. How was the job today, I think I heard something about a pile-up, but I'm not sure I wasn't dreaming."

Maddie came in just as Athena opened her mouth to answer, handing the older woman a coffee cup and offering Buck a smile, "Hey, Buck. Are you feeling better? You were dead asleep when we came in."

"I feel like I've been sleeping forever," Buck agreed with an easy smile that hadn't graced his lips since the Doctors had given him a clean bill of health before the dinner at Athena's. "What happened with the crash?"

Athena hummed, "Some kid thought it would be fun to step out into moving traffic to see if he could live through stepping into the road and getting his ass hit by 170 pounds of pure steel."

Buck blinked in shock, "No way. Who'd do something like that?"

Maddie, who'd taken the call, replied, "A very sad man. I took the call; he wasn't doing so well. He told me he regretted everything. I heard he's okay, but he'll be lucky to ever walk again."

Athena continued, "He told first responders that he regretted it as soon as he stepped foot on the road. He wasn't thinking."

They chatted about that for a while until Buck noticed the time and looked at Athena, "Shouldn't you be getting home? Bobby's going to be worried."

"Bobby has some thinking and growing to do, so I'm giving him the space to do it. Don't you worry about it." Athena reassured him.

"I'm alright," Buck tried to convince them.

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Buck looked over and saw a hesitant Chimney. "Chimney," he said.

"Hey, Buck. Um, could I talk to you?" Chimney asked.

Buck nodded, sitting himself up higher on the bed. Athena and Maddie left to give them privacy. The conversation they had was very similar to the conversation Buck had with Hen, both parties apologizing for the hurt they'd caused. Buck explaining why he'd sued and Chimney explaining why he'd been so upset. By the end, Buck was openly crying and Chimney's eyes were watering.

Buck reached up and pulled the older man into a tight hug. "Thank you, Chimney."

Chimney wrapped his arms just as tightly around the younger, "I should be thanking you."

Buck laughed, watery and thick, "I think we can both agree we didn't handle this the right way. How about we say we're both idiots and leave it at that?"

Chimney nodded as he pulled back, "Okay. Have the others been in to see you?"

"Hen came in earlier today, but Bobby and Eddie haven't been in," Buck sniffed, reaching for the tissues and handing a few to Chimney before claiming a few for himself. "I honestly didn't expect any of you, so this is fine."

Chimney felt a stab of anger and disappointment at his friends, but he didn't let it show. Buck didn't need the anger he felt and with the state he was in, he'd probably think the anger was directed at him, and Chimney didn't want to give the injured male something else to worry about. He smiled, "I'm going to go, okay? Let you rest. Sooner you're on your feet again, sooner you're back to work, right?"

Buck nodded, "Sure. Thanks, Chimney."

Chimney offered another hug and then left, letting Buck rest.

Buck fell back to sleep almost before he was back to fully laying down. Bobby and Eddie hadn't been in yet, but that was okay. As long as things got better, he'd be okay. With that thought in mind, Buck closed his eyes and slipped back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> And the Halloween episode continues as normal, but with Bobby being less of an asshole but still pretty standoffish and rude. Eddie apologizes at the start of the episode rather than the end and they do the whole Halloween handouts together. Buck still goes home early, but Eddie refuses to go and cleans up for Buck instead. Eddie gets there to the hospital before Bobby when Buck calls.
> 
> Thank you for letting me get this off my chest, I seriously appreciate it. I was just so upset. I asked my emotional/real-world advisor (, my Mom, haha) about it and she agrees that it was completely out of line for them to do this to Buck. But anyhow, thank you for reading!


End file.
